If there’s one thing in life I’ve never understood it’s people going out of their way to try and top something you’ve done in the hope that they’ll be bigger and better than you are. Sometimes even going as far to take your ideas and palm them off as their own to see if they’ll gain more recognition for it than you did. I will never ever know why people can’t just let you have your moment and be happy for you, I suppose it’s quite sad really but it’s also rude and quite upsetting. Unfortunately though these people don’t seem to understand the effects of what they’re doing especially when it comes to taking something you’ve put so much time and effort in to.
Throughout my life I have encountered countless people who are exactly like this, and each one is always slightly more infuriating than the last. You’re never allowed to enjoy your moment because they always have to do one better, and more often than not they leave you wishing that you’d never even opened your mouth in the first place. The one place I never expected to experience that though was the infertility community, I guess I was mistaken when I thought everyone would be understanding and kind because we’re all in the same boat.
Please don’t get me wrong, 90% of the community have been and continue to be amazing. As always though there are a select few who aren’t and everything has to be about them and how what they’ve been through is worse. When I posted in an infertility group on Facebook about my chemical pregnancy looking for support, I was horrified at some of the responses I did get. I was already in pain both physically and mentally, all I wanted was some reassurance that I wasn’t alone and some advice from people who had been through it too. While the majority of people were incredibly helpful and loving, I was met with many nasty comments from women saying things like “oh it was probably just a false positive get over it”, “you only have PCOS it could be far worse”, and “think how I feel I’ve been through four” and my favourite one “at least you had a positive on a test! I’ve been trying for years and never had one, you should consider yourself lucky” All of these statements completely contradicted everything my doctor had said to me, he’d assured me that a positive is indeed a positive regardless of how faint and that honestly just because I’d managed to ovulate and conceive once didn’t mean that I would be able to do it again, but I was so horrified by how those women had responded that I actually ended up removing my post from the group.
It’s not just the infertility community that leaves me feeling deflated and like we have to compete instead of being supportive. Since starting my blog I have very often felt that some people treat having a blog as a competitive sport and they have to be bigger and better than someone else, and I actually find that pretty sad. I’ve seen bitchy comments left on other people’s blog posts in an attempt to bring them down and I’ve seen bigger blogs trying to tear down smaller blogs. The most disheartening one is that I’ve seen another blog take my posts, change small details to fit their story, and upload them as their own and that’s the one that bothers me the most. To take someone else’s hard work and dedication and claim it as your own absolutely disgusts me, I spend hours and days on my posts because I want them to be perfect, not for someone to just swoop along and claim them for their own. I’ve not been posting as much during all of this because I’ve been unsure how to proceed from here, do I continue knowing that my hard work will be taken? Or do I stop doing something I love and that has made me feel so much better?
Simple really… I carry on. I refuse to let people make me feel like I should be competing in life, so I’m fighting back! I will continue to share my story louder and prouder than before, and I will refuse to be made to feel like my journey is any less than anyone else’s. We may all have different experiences but ultimately we’re all in the same boat. There is also now a copyright disclaimer on my blog and if I find anyone has taken my words, phrasing, or whole post without crediting me then I will be taking further action.
Life is NOT a competition and I really wish people would stop acting like it is!
P.S I have a couple of blog ideas so hopefully things should be back to normal soon, I’ve just been taking some time to process this and the chemical pregnancy but I promise I’ll be back! xxx