Over the last few months Mitch and I have had a fair amount to deal with. We moved away from everyone we know, started new jobs, planning the wedding, we were given more infertility heartbreak, the car has needed some serious fixing, and the list goes on really. As always though we’ve been pushing onward with everything and just getting on with life, and clearly decided that that wasn’t enough for us so added more stress too!
In the last few weeks Mitch has decided to re-brand his YouTube channel, so we’ve been working hard at that and then his computer died as soon as we entered the editing process for his new video! We’ve also both gone on a PCOS diet (Mitch for support) so we’ve said goodbye to red meat, wheat, gluten, sugar, dairy… anything nice basically in the hopes that my hormone levels even themselves out to try and induce ovulation naturally. So far we’ve both lost just under half a stone each, and it seems to be “working” because after having weird left sided abdominal pains for a day or two, we decided to test on a whim AND for the first time in five years I had a positive result on some ovulation test and we are now officially in the TWW for the first time ever! GO ME! However I can’t stand waiting so I’m driving myself more insane as the days go by.
So at the beginning of the week we made the decision that on Saturday we were going to get out of Southampton for the day and just detach ourselves from everything that’s been happening. We needed to clear our minds and spend some time together that was just us… not us and 47 thousand thoughts. Brighton wasn’t actually our original choice Bournemouth was, but after thinking about it a bit more we both said we wanted to go somewhere we’ve not been to a million times before so we could detach properly. That’s when we landed on Brighton. Mitch had only been twice (both for gigs), I had never been, plus it’s only an hour and a half drive from our house making it the perfect distance away to forget everything for a while.
Brighton is honestly so beautiful and I’ve fallen completely in love with it. I’m already counting down the days until we can go back. Brighton is so peaceful, beautiful, and quaint compared to Southampton and reminds me so much of my little Isle of Wight while being so different at the same time. We didn’t really do much while we were there but to me that was perfect as I feel like doing a million things would’ve completely defeated the object of us trying to clear our minds. Mostly we walked around taking in the beautiful sights of the beach and the unique layout of the town, although Mitch did manage to get in some filming for his videos but it wasn’t constant. We went for lunch and decided to break the PCOS diet for a day, ending up in a lovely little fish and chip restaurant with us both enjoying the fact that we were eating something other than salad. After lunch we wandered up and down the pier and then sat outside a pub for an hour just taking in the sunshine, the view, and the refreshing sea air. It sounds so cheesy but I could honestly feel myself forgetting everything that I’ve been so wound up about and for the first time in months I felt completely stress and care free.
Feeling completely relaxed we then went to the Sea Life centre – home of fish, lobsters, crabs, turtles, and small sharks. As a big lover of all animals I will admit that I was a little worried that they may not have the animals best intentions at heart. Once we were in the doors all of those concerns washed away. They have information plaques all over the centre explaining all the conservation work they do, and how they’re only home to creatures that they’ve rescued and would not be able to survive in the wild or are endangered. All of the creatures looked like they had more than enough room to get around and then some, so I was more than satisfied that they were happy. There’s something oddly soothing about watching fish swim around and I now completely get why dentists/psychiatrists/health professionals have fish tanks in their waiting rooms. In Brighton’s Sea Life Centre there is a “shark tunnel” where you can walk through the bottom of the shark/fish/turtle/ray tank in a glass tunnel allowing them to swim over the top of you and I honestly will never be able to explain just how soothing I found that. Usually I get quite anxious and worry about what would happen if the tank cracked or something stupid like that, but I felt completely at ease and happy just watching the sharks swim around me and grinning like a child whenever a giant sea turtle went past. I know it sounds stupid but I never realised just how big they are! Once we were done in the Sea Life Centre it was about 5pm and we decided to head home and did the 30 minute uphill walk back to the car.
Usually I find driving motorway stressful and terrifying but during both the drive to and from Brighton I felt a lovely sense of calm. By the time we got home at 7pm I was the most relaxed and stressed free that I have been in months, maybe even years and I can see now that a day away is exactly what I needed so I’ll be making sure that I start taking more time out and away from everything.
Of course now that we’ve been home 24 hours all those previous worries and stresses are back, they just aren’t as intense as they were before. Mitch’s cousin managed to fix his computer for him so that’s one thing off the list, now I’m just left here wondering whether last weeks ovulation was a one time thing or if it’s going to become a regular thing? What damage having an off day from the diet may have done to the positive effects I was beginning to feel? How will I cope during the next 9 days of the TWW? Although I’m really not expecting anything to come from that one… but then there’s how I deal with good old aunt flo if she rears her ugly head, having spent so long away from her? How long do I then continue with the diet before I accept that it’s not working?
It’s always the way, spend all day relaxing and then ruin it by thinking about all things fertility related. Oh well right?!